How NOT to Share the Gospel with an Atheist

Actually, I would prefer someone not try to "share their gospel" with me. By that I don't mean that I'm offended by believers or that I don't want people to tell me what their religious beliefs are. I mean, I don't want them to try to convert me. I don't want to be seen as a project by some person trying to "win souls" for their deity. If we want to have a discussion about whether a deity exists, I am open to that. I don't mind exchanging thoughts about what constitutes evidence and why a person believes. However, I don't want to be seen as someone who needs saving and I don't want to be preached at.

I grew up Catholic. I had plenty of that, thank you very much.

I know lots of Christians don't consider Catholics for real, true Christians, but that's an internal dispute for all the Christians to get together and hammer out. Catholics believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ and think he was crucified, died and rose again. They believe he ascended into heaven and sits at the right hand of the father, blah blah blah. Good enough for me. They're Christians.

I have also been in all kinds of other churches and synagogues. I've listened to street preachers.  I've been present for other denominations' prayers, so if I was going to be moved by the spirit, there have been ample occasions.

Anyway, I have realized lately that there are lots of web sites purporting to teach Christians how to talk to (gasp) atheists, and they are good for some comments. Mainly, I realized how insular these Christians are. They don't really seem to get atheism at all. And I do mean at all.

I read with some bemusement the blog by Greg Stier from 2013 entitled How to Share the Gospel With an Atheist. It started with him saying that he "confessed" he was a preacher to someone on the plane with him, and that person "confessed" he was an atheist. Confessed? Like it was a crime? I find the language quite telling, like Stier knows he's doing something society would frown upon. And I have to say, sharing the gospel while you're stuck on a plane with nowhere to go is kind of a dick move. I don't mean, sharing the fact that you are a Christian, although I don't know why you would feel the need to reveal this to a complete stranger. I mean, seeing such a situation as a good opportunity is a dick move. Most people want to be at least cordial to strangers, and they can't easily nip out of the conversation with an "Oh, look there's so and so, I really need to ask them something" or "I'm going to freshen up my drink" like you might at a party. You are stuck for the duration of the flight.

But Greg Stier doesn't seem to notice this. It's a "privilege" to engage people, like the hypothetical fellow passenger who "claims to not believe in God." He only claims? That's quite the presumption right there, and by the way, it will be followed up in the listicle by the belief that everyone actually does believe, so this is not just an unconscious admission.

So, Stier's advice starts with #1: Don't be shocked and do ask tons of questions.

Real question: is it shocking that atheists exist? Stier seems to think atheists like to shock people with their pronouncement. He acts like it's a metaphorical grenade. Maybe some do. I actually just want it to be met with, "oh really? tell me about that" kind of way. I do think asking questions is good. Don't presume you know what is going on or that you know what someone believes.

Off to #2: Listen deeply for the real "why." Stier starts by saying that atheists have reasons other than reason like anger or hurt. I just grew out of it. As I started to learn more about the world, it made less sense. I have yet to encounter an atheist that stopped believing because someone died, because they wanted to sin or because of something the church did. I have seen believers rationalize life tragedies, attend a church that allows whatever behavior they want to engage in, and excuse the church while condemning the perpetrators.

But Stier says he "couldn't quite nail why" this fellow passenger was an atheist. I can tell him. It was in section one: "...he didn't view Jesus as the Son of God..."

But I guess that's too easy.

Moving on. #3: Connect relationally. It's nice that Stier says "Atheists are real people with real feelings" and criticized Christians for treating atheists "as objects and not people." Good on him for that. How about not treating us as a project too? How about thinking we have something to offer besides a soul to redeem.

So we get to the point I alluded to earlier, #4: Assume that, down deep inside, they do believe in God.

If I could put sound effects on this blog, you would hear a buzzer sounding. No. Don't do that. Don't presume. Go back to number 1 where you asked questions and listened. Maybe you should add "And believe what the atheist tells you" to your list.

But, since Romans 1 says that there are no real atheists, that settles it. We are apparently suppressing it. What I would like to say is his god is allowing me to suppress it.

But I get why Stier does that. As he says, "When you assume that an atheist does really believe in the existence of God it gives you the freedom not to have to prove God's existence but to share God's story." Apparently, "the gospel is churning in the soul of the atheist." So, there you have it. This assumption allows the believer to sidestep the hard part of giving evidence for their deity.

And so we complete with #5: Frame the gospel as a love story (that just happens to be true.) I guess I have trouble seeing a deity that needs a blood sacrifice to forgive sin as a love story. How about he just say, forgive fallible humans?

Stier says he pulled out some apologetics on his fellow passenger, who listened respectfully. I'm glad he doesn't claim that the man converted on the spot, but he has the impression he nudged him closer to Jesus.

Here's what I see: James the atheist is a nice guy who found himself seated next to a fundy nutter who wanted to spend their flight time talking about religion. He didn't want to offend the man. Maybe he found aspects of the conversation interesting, maybe he was merely being polite. I doubt he had any event that caused him to lose belief (Stier says the man was raised Church of England). I doubt the conversation did more than make him wonder at the weird humans that occupy planet earth. It's not like religion doesn't surround us on all sides. It's not like we haven't heard it all before.

I have my own list for talking to atheists:
(1) Realize the atheist is another human being like you only without the god belief. He/She believes all sorts of other things just not the god thing.
(2) Don't assume that the atheist secretly believes or is suppressing the truth. Believe the atheist. You could even ask why the person doesn't believe. Accept their response.
(3) Don't assume the atheist doesn't know anything about Christianity. Most of us were raised Christian, some of us pretty deeply. Most of us have read the Bible. Lots attended church.
(4) Don't just connect to try to convert. Don't treat the person as a project. If you want to have a chat, treat it as a moment to spend with another human on this planet - learn, share, laugh, but not because you think you'll win a soul.