Put it in the ground where the flowers grow

   
Are we there yet?


         Today, I'm thinking about happiness. Part of my contemplation stems from the idea that atheists are angry and bitter while people who have found religion (here in the US, this is usually Christianity) are happy and at peace. Before delving into this post, I would like to distinguish two modes of happiness: a mood and an overall sense of one's life satisfaction. In discussions I feel that these two modes are often confused and conflated, and perhaps in our own minds, it can be hard to unwind which sense dominates in a given situation.

            In this post, I would like to focus on the overall sense of happiness, which I see as an assessment of how our life is going on a larger scale. We might think of a spectrum between fulfillment and disappointment, satisfaction and dissatisfaction, success and failure. We might perceive forward or backward motion with regard to life goals. We can assess our careers, family, hobbies, friends, and really anything of importance on these scales and measure our level of life happiness. Although this examination appraises our life at a macro level, the way we perceive it can shift with life events. That is to say, ten years ago, I might have made one assessment of the "success" of my life while today I might feel differently. In ten years, I may have a completely different view. This form of happiness is not a permanent state so much as a current assessment of ourselves and is likely to change over the course of our life.

            The point of talking about happiness with regard to atheism has to do with the stereotype I mentioned earlier of the angry, bitter atheist who is just "in denial" or "in rebellion" or is "mad at god" or whatever is being preached from the pulpit about atheists. I don't want to sit here at my computer and declare that no atheist anywhere is angry or bitter, it's the Christians who are the real angry, bitter people, nanny-nanny-boo-boo! There probably are angry, bitter atheists out there. Why they are angry and bitter might have nothing to do with religion or it might be due to the lies, deceit, and hypocrisy they encountered in their congregation. But, what I can say is I know atheists who are not angry and bitter and I know Christians who are. The point is, the anger and bitterness are not necessarily tied to a god belief, and we need to throw that stereotype away and judge people on an individual basis.

            My own limited and circumscribed experience has shown me that all people experience success and failure, love and heartbreak, good and bad. We celebrate life's wonderful occasions (a birth, a wedding, an anniversary, a promotion at work). We entertain ourselves with books, art, movies, travel. We or loved ones might suffer serious illnesses. We mourn the loss of loved ones and pets.

            As I look around, I don't see a difference between atheists and theists. My Christian friends do not have easier lives with less pain and suffering nor are they any richer and more successful than my atheist friends.

            Here is the difference: Christians will thank Yahweh for their happiness and excuse him when misfortune arises (except for those fundamentalist types who think that sin brought on the catastrophe). You got a raise at work? You are #blessed. (I'm sure people also think they worked hard, but this makes them look humble) You were cured of cancer? God be praised! (Not the doctors and nurses who diagnosed and treated it.) A relative dies of cancer? God works in mysterious ways.

            As an atheist, if I have a work success, that is due to my hard work and a bit of luck that there are people around me who recognize it. As long as the boasting isn't too loud or goes on too long, it isn't arrogant to take some credit. Likewise, cancer is caused by natural causes and, if it is cured, the recovery is thanks to medical professionals. And certainly, as an atheist, I don't spend any time wondering what my successes or misfortunes mean to a supernatural entity. Some people think good fortune means the devil is tempting you while others think it is a reward from a deity. Some think disaster is just punishment for some sins you committed or just thought while others claim that you are being tested like Job. Who's to say which is true?

            To return to the bitter and angry stereotype, I think it stems from mistaking a reaction to evangelizing for a permanent state of being. In general, no one likes to be criticized, and it is common to spend our life among people who agree with us. Christians who get reinforcement at their church may be unprepared for counter-arguments while atheists hear the same things over and over again, a phenomenon has its own term: PRaTT. Right or wrong, it can get tiresome refuting the same issues. Further, sometimes Christians cheerfully inform us of terrible things: that we can't be really happy, that we just want to sin, that we're going to hell, that we really believe, we really do, we're just lying to ourselves. I think it's a normal human reaction to get upset when people tell you what you really believe. (And on a tangent, there are plenty of rabid Christian* preachers out there who come off as angry and bitter, but who knows what they are like when they are at home eating dinner?)

            Whatever happens in a conversation between a Christian and an atheist, however, is no indication of the broader assessment said people have of their lives. If I get indignant because a pre-suppositionalist tells me that I have a god-shaped hole in my heart, that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy my career, hobbies, friends and family. It is not an indication of my success in any area. What it means is you've pissed me off by assuming something erroneous.

Tomorrow, I will look more at the happiness as a mood and my take as an atheist.

If you missed part I from earlier, you can check that out.

(*I know it may seem I'm picking on Christians, but these views are the prevalent ones where I live. No other religion group is effecting policy or going door-to-door to convert anyone.)

Since we're focusing on happiness, here are a few random little pleasures for today:
-having plans work out even when it looked like they wouldn't
-enjoying the quiet on a Sunday morning
-walking barefoot on soft, clean carpet

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