Y'all just want to sin, Part II

Kermit did it all

I have heard a certain type of Christian who claims that before Christianity, he/she "did it all." Sin, that is. They enumerate some of these sins: they were drunkards and fornicators; they partied too much; they did drugs; the did it all! From my Catholic upbringing point of view, this form of witnessing is a little frightening. Confessing your sins is something one does in private with the priest. You don't "tell your conversion story" or brag about how much better you are for having found Jesus. People who come from this strand of Christianity inform me that typically there is a one-upmanship as each Christian tries to outdo the last in sinfulness to show that his/her road to salvation was harder fought.

I have so many questions about this. Like, I want to know what they mean by drunkard: did they get pass out drunk every night? were they unable to go about their daily lives? or was this more like college drinking and partying? I have the same questions about the fornication, the drug use, the partying. I wonder how frequent it was, to what extent it interfered with life. And then there are additional questions, like, was this a way to deal with shame, fear, guilt, anxiety? So many questions, so few answers.

In my last post, I discussed why I rejected the concept of sin, and I'd like to explore this a little further. You see, what I wonder about these public confessions of past depravity is to what extent they are/were the result of typical boundary-pushing by young people. Testing out the limits of life, exploring one's sexuality, venturing into the night to see what it holds: this all seems like normal behavior as long as it does not interfere with a person's ability to support themselves and interact appropriately with others.

To be clear, in my mind, sex is not a sin. There is no sin in falling exploring one's sexuality, whom one is attracted to, and feeling good about being physical with others. The guiding concept most of us use these days is informed consent. We know what we're in for and we agree. We have established an age of consent, which is a little arbitrary, but nonetheless it is an age we feel that a person should be mentally able to hand the concepts of adult sexuality.

And it should go with out saying that the catchall LGBTQ is about identity and attraction, and I put these individuals in a paragraph to make sure it is clear that this is just about who they are, but really, they should be understood to be in the previous paragraph. They are normal even if their identities are not the norm, so to speak.

The notion of informed consent is the guide for issues around sexuality. There is nothing wrong with polyamory, BDSM, kink, people cohabitating without being married, and sexual encounters in general. I'm not saying it's easy or that there won't be problems, but society is not impacted by people responsibly and honestly  engaging their sexuality with others. And this is the difference between violence and sexuality, which I will explore in another post: violence violates consent, creates fear and panic, and visibly hurts society.

If you're religious and you don't agree, your sex life is your own.

Of course, there are ways of being sexually stupid. If we are truly practicing informed consent and not being dishonest or violent with sexuality, being stupid is not a sin. If you get pregnant because you used contraception wrong or not at all, it's not a "sin". You're not a bad person. What would be good is more information for teenagers about sexuality and a real non-judgmental understanding of these issues.

Switching gears to our imaginary Christian witness, I also don't see anything wrong with drinking, trying drugs or partying. Now, an issue may arise if someone is overdoing any of these. If someone becomes addicted or drugs and alcohol are abused to such a level that the person's life or health is impacted, then there is cause to worry. And of course, it is possible to do stupid things. We should aim to reduce stupid decisions.

But stupid decisions are not unique to sex, drugs, alcohol and partying. There are lots of ways humans can be stupid in lots of situations, so people being stupid are not a reason to demonize some part of human behavior. We don't think someone who was inattentive for a moment while driving and gets into an accident is committing a sin, why are other behaviors ripe for the category of sin and being depraved?

When it comes down to it, religions like Christianity really frown on carnal pleasures. Gluttony used to be a major sin, but you don't hear many people ranting about that much anymore. Christianity emphasizes the "spiritual" and humans should aim to be more god-like, i.e. they should not seek bodily pleasure. Sex is for procreation only, drugs are only for curing illness, and alcohol, to the extent the religion allows it, is only done in moderation. Some religions don't even want you to dance!

In my mind, these acts of denying the body have a negative impact on our well-being. We should allow ourselves pleasures to the extent that we are not harming ourselves or others. If you feel otherwise because your religion demands it, that is your choice, but we should not feel compelled to your view because of religious belief.

This is the one life you know you'll have. How do you want to spend it?

(For more on atheist morality, see  Good without God, Part One Billion Ninety-Eight  and Y'all just want to sin)